So Ireland are out of the World Cup, again, but this time we can lay the blame firmly at the hand of a Frenchman. Or can we?
Must admit that last week I was fairly gutted - as a team over both matches I thought we played better than the French and based on performance, chances and effort we deserved to go through. But football isn't always that clear cut and fair, sometimes a team plays well and doesn't take its chances and the other side scrapes in a lucky goal and runs away with the points - it's what used make the FA Cup brilliant, any team from any division can cause an upset and usually each year one team from a lower league will. Luck, perseverance, whatever you want to call it, plays its part.
France were lucky in the first match. Anelka's deflected shot giving Given no chance. Ireland didn't play great, but neither did France. France had technically superior individuals, but Ireland, less talented in a lot of areas, played as a team and with a fighting spirit during some spells. Ireland came close once or twice, France came close and with the aid of a deflection made it count. Unlucky. But you can live with that because shit happens.
The second match was a whole other ball game. France were rattled from the start by the mentality of the Irish team, everyone knew they were there for the taking if they weren't allowed settle. An early Irish goal might see them crumble. Within a few minutes France had to replace a defender and it felt like we'd have a chance. France's class soon gets overpowered by a relentless Irish side and after half an hour Keane gets a deserved goal. Typically, you'd expect Ireland to get dug in and protect a slim lead like that but not this time. It's as if everyone can sense French blood and to hell with the usual, a decision seems to be taken to go for the jugular. France up their game. Ireland soak it up. After half time O'Shea misses a chance. Ireland press on. France pushes back. Duff breaks. One on one with the French keeper, Lloris. Lloris wins. Duff really should have put that away with a chip over the keeper. O'Shea gets injured. McShane comes on. Fuck. An accident waiting to happen. Ignore it. It might not happen. End to end stuff. All Ireland need is another poxy goal and then France would need two to win. Lawrence's brilliant through ball to Keane. He rounds Lloris. YES! But he pushes it too far and fucks it up. He knows it too. How many of these glorious chances will we get? How long has it been since Ireland played this well? God it feels good just to watch them play some decent football with a bit of fight and grit and belief. France threaten, time and again. Ireland counter attack, time and again. A real end to end battle. Keane wastes another effort near the end of the 90 minutes. France, Henry, misses a chance at the death. Extra time. Feck. Don't really fancy penalties. We're crap at them. Please, just one more poxy chance at a jammy goal. First bit of extra time is scruffy. Anelka flops down like a dying swan from a weak challenge in the Irish penalty box. Please, no. Thank fuck. No penalty to France. Good decision ref. Ireland miss again. France get a goal. Offside. Disallowed. Very tense now. Free kick to France. Malouda whips it in. Surely there's an offside. Everything slows down. This is all wrong. Goal to France. It stands. Offside. Handball. Twice. By Henry. Of all people. The twunt!! A toe poke and the ball floats towards Gallas' head. He scores. Repeats. Offside. McShane caught the wrong side of Henry. Repeats. Henry's tappity tap double handball. Repeats. The offside. Repeats. Tappity tap. Over and over again. Shattered. Hopeful. Realise a goal will still see us through. But something has changed. The spark is gone. France believe. Ireland don't. Ireland lose.
The after match analysis. Fuck it. Can't be arsed to watch. Sickened. We woz robbed. End of.
Days later:
Stage 1 | Denial
Can't believe we were robbed.
Stage 2 | Anger
Fucking FIFA changing the rules for the play offs. Of course they want an uneven playing field, better chances for the bigger countries with bigger viewing audiences to go through. Platini & Blatter congratulating themselves. Got what they wanted. The fucks. Fair Play my hole. The lot of them are a corrupt bunch of pimped up gougers.
Stage 3 | Bargaining
Talk of a replay. A quiet shallow hope. But deep down you know it's never going to happen. A mirage.
Stage 4 | Depression
Keane should have done this. Duff should have done that. Anyone but McShane fer fuck's sake. Henry's handball. Why us?
Stage 5 | Acceptance
We can't really complain. Keane handled the ball three or four times at least during the match. Keane got caught and moaned, as he does. Henry didn't get caught. Ireland got a penalty, and the resulting goal, against Georgia earlier in the competition that we shouldn't have. Ireland had plenty of chances in France and didn't take them. All sorts of pathetic rationales for what went around coming back around to bite you on the ass. But it still comes down to that handball by Henry. He cheated. He got away with it. Shit happens.
Lots of people saying he's not a cheat, but he is - he broke the rules to gain an advantage, that's cheating by definition in my book. But he's not the only one, certainly not the worst, and it's not some rare event - definitely not in football where it happens week in, week out and is discussed and analysed at length on TV and in pubs and online social networks. Who hasn't done something to gain an advantage? Perhaps a little white lie to get out of impending trouble. A wee embellishment on a CV. A cash job that doesn't go through the books. Any number of small little deceits that cheat the truth and any sense of fair play.
What's rare is that it was Henry: a millionaire sportsman and someone that anyone who loves the game would have held in high regard when he was at his peak - even if begrudgingly so by fans of other teams. What's rare is a cheat gets to see his handiwork replayed around the world so quickly, the evidence plastered across TV, websites and front pages in the days that follow. What's rare is that a cheat is so clearly and identifiably caught in the act, so quickly and damningly caught on camera, so often, from so many different angles and all within seconds of the transgression happening. Everyone who watched could see it. Everyone except, of course, the referee and his linesmen. Because FIFA doesn't want them to use video referees. Because the time and effort required to watch that 15 seconds of video would spoil the flow of the game. Because the idea of 'Fair Play' is just a marketing exercise, a cheap slogan on a tatty discarded t-shirt.
Final score from FIFA:
France : 62,000,000
Ireland: 4,500,000
